Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but women sure can! A: Because, when you put three of them together, you get KKK. Mostly disappointing. French cleric, 1620, Just think of all the wonderful blessings youve been given. Hot chocolate. I can make you so happy with all the stash I have at home. You could put all the sweets business if you will be consistently sweet like that. Needless to sayHe got his Snickers in a Twix.Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.The first one pulled the second one out.The second one said, Thanks, youre a lifesaver!The first one responded, Actually, Im a KitKat.I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.They wanted a Quik high. I do not need a ganache on my cake because you are enough sweet for me. In the Gateaux (ghetto)! Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party? ao! If you are interested in more jokes and puns, take a look at Cookie Puns and Baking Puns. Chocolate Stores Where to Buy Chocolate, Coverquotes Click N Collect | Click and Collect, You Can Keep Your Heart and Brain Healthy with the Right Chocolate, Scientists Say. A little too much chocolate is just about right. Just ice cream. 2. They had a baby, Ruth. I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. ", A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. I like a piece every day. Baby I can never get enough of your sweetness like I can never get enough of chocolate. Tap To Copy. Youll find here clean chocolate jokes and puns for chocolate lovers that you can share with everyone like your parents, school teacher, etc. What do cannibals eat for dessert? A chocolate bar.How do you turn the dairy chocolate turn into dark chocolate? Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? My favorite place in the world is cuddled next to you nibbling something sweet. Joe Vinson, Ph.D., University of Scranton, Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the worlds perfect food. The smile looks really good on you. All evidence to date suggests its chocolate. A cad-bury. They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Lets get right into the chocolate silliness and dive right in. If you were a concentration gradient, I . If they dont have chocolate in heaven, I aint going. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Laugh along with more jokes! Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. "People think I hate sex. The only favorite thing I have in this cruel world aside from sweets is having you in my life. Don't bite off more than you can chew, unless its chocolate. What did the Hersheys bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate? I always carry chocolate instead. Why not! Where did the chocolate couple stay for their honeymoon? The old man responded, Thats ok. Take a closer look at the list of short chocolate jokes! I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. University of California-Berkeley Wellness Letter, We already know that increased consumption of fruits and vegetables results in an increase of antioxidants in our blood. What is a feminists favorite chocolate bar? Ah, chocolate: one of life's simple pleasures. What do you call a black guy with Parkinsons? Vegetable Jokes. Would you like to hear some sexy chocolate jokes? Sweetie I can be your sweets in this world full of bitter people. I do not want anything fancy just you and a whole bowl of flavored ice cream. I do not want a piece of you because I wanted the whole lot of you. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? Candy! So, without wasting the time, lets enjoy these jokes. Sandra Boynton, Other things are just food. The pope retorts "Chocolates? 1. Knock knock! Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. Imogen. Life is what you bake it. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. Michael Levine, nutrition researcher. Available on Etsy. 1. You never know what youre gonna get. Knock knock! Because I would like to purchase a sweet like you. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! You can be my chocolate bunny. What do you call female chocolate? Whats a monkeys favourite kind of chocolate? The lovable Charlie, who is one of a group of children to win a tour of the mysterious Chocolate Factory of the eccentric candymaker, Willy Wonka . Lora Brody, Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet, A true chocolate lover finds ways to accommodate his passion and make it work with his lifestyle. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. Some of our greatest chocolate jokes are here! The prisoners thought they wouldnt be any good, but they were. If there is a food that tastes like you I would definitely get a supply of those forever. The other one says, Baking a cake (sick dirty joke) (X) One day a little girl was watching cartoons when a porno came through. A candy baaaaa-r! Chocolates can give us a lot of emotions. Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. Because you are as sweet as chocolate. Share. Women What does it do before it rains candy? Did you hear about the affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? the best of dirty verbal jokes that will coil your toes , take up the challenge not to laugh, try not to laugh, The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. There was a convertible. Your email address will not be published. 3 Musketeers! Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. ", responds the alien. 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, Funny Mum jokes DADS cannot compete against. The police are trying to catch him, but hes always got a few Twix up his sleeve! Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? I hope your having gelato fun on your birthday! We're totally the "you made a really awesome kid" kid. I promise Ill make you forget all the bad things this day brought by being your stash if sweet. You have this certain snap that made me notice you just like how I know a good bar from bad. Whether dark, milk or white, chocolate is satisfying and decadent. may say Im a dreamer, Emperor Montezuma said: A: Because no one wants to quit. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Its flake news. You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. Somehow Im just not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.I dont like putting a lid on my hot chocolate. More Quotes Round at the bottom, skinny at the top. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. Babe, I don't think there's anything hotter than chocolate, until I met you. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I probably have some sort of chocolate five times a week. The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man says, "And the Viagra?" . Chocolate Tessellation inspired me to mix cacao and cocoa alphabetically, but that made me sneeze: aaaccccooo!. An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. C? The star of the family friendly "Full House" and "Fuller House" series and host of the even more G-rated "America's . You are smoother and more palatable than a fondant and I like that. I mean, at his age what will it do for him?" What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk? Julie Davis, Los Angeles Times, 10/30/85. Being with you is like getting into cloud nine full of sweets. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: geovannebiggs, rpickford109, Mistisanders, Theodorkrueger, 810841252, kristine12, luketuffs10, Smanning1818, sophiathebest, sony8877, no1puppyhugger, Steveandde, lidaisy55. Bob Greene, Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" There was a convertible. Diabetes.. Jake has diabetes "Mon, where's the magic?" How dairy.Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.What kind of bar is kid friendly? What is the meaning of life? Donut worry, be happy! ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! A Kitty Kat bar! While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. Want to come with me? What does it do before it rains candy?It sprinkles!Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had his ear bitten off.One said Happy Easter! What did the other one say? Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. There are many jokes about chocolate bars and chocolate cookies in our selection, so its a bit like opening a box of chocolates. Are you Willy Wonka? I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world. What kind of candy is never on time? Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. My pronouns are her/shey. A rocky road! Hershey Common and the Heat Ray. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Chocolate JokesWhat did the M&M go to college?Because he wanted to be a Smarty.What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?Chocolate Chip Wookiee.Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar?Sniggas.What does a box of chocolate and life have in common?They dont last long for fat people.Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk?A mootation.My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate.Everyone got a piece.Why did people make white chocolate?So black kids could get dirty faces too.When it comes to stealing chocolate barsI have a couple twix up my sleeve.Kids these days are so stupid.They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? You wont ever need to bring me sweet food, I like you enough. Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? Who doesnt love chocolate? What kind of candy makes fun of you? You can also listen to t. 5. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. You make my day complete just by getting a whiff of you. Life is a like a box of chocolates, and I cannot imagine my life without you. Terry Moore. Almond Joy To The World. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." One liner tags: Christmas, dirty, kids, sport. You have this capability of making my taste buds so happy and I love that. If you cant eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. The segments were spun-out into their own series on June 13, 2003 (although the 2003-2004 episodes were also produced originally for Grim & Evil), and continued to air until November 9, 2007. Sooner or later I will get diabetes because of your sweetness. Are you chocolate? To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. 1. The closer you get to a pure chocolate liquor (the chocolate essence ground from roasted cacao beans) the purer it is, the more satisfying it is, the safer it is, and the healthier it is. They had a baby, Ruth. Why did the candy bar cross the road? Who doesnt love Hershey chocolate jokes? I'm chocolate to my appointment! What does that have to do with anything?" If it aint chocolate, it aint breakfast! When I met you my craving for something sweet stop. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. You know youre a chocoholic if the bartender tells you youve had enough shots of chocolate syrup for one night. Ideas for the top 101 chocolate jokes were taken from the following sources. With labored breath, he leaned against the door, gazing into the kitchen. You look sad, let me sprinkle some of good vibes at you baby. I have only two weaknesses resisting chocolate and resisting you. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. We have a fun collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles, and puns about chocolate that are clean and safe to use. Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Sex. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, nuff said. Drink it cold. Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. My dear, how will you ever manage? Taureano Ent says: August 13, 2019 at 2:00 pm 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. One key, not just to keeping weight down and staying guilt-free, but also to keeping taste buds sharp (essential for the professionals who evaluate new products as well as judge recipes), is being discriminating. I said, "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. You can taek-won-do.Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?So that itll fit inside the box.In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.Preferred pronouns are Her/she.I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasnt arrived yet.Boy, its taking its sweet time getting here.People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.WellIve got a few Twix up my sleeve.I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.I said to him, I bet I could guess your favourite holiday!He replied, Have to love Easter, baby.Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.Theyll kill your dog.I love chocolate.Hard candy is for suckers.I put my friends chocolate bars in different wrappers. So, what about chocolate jokes? Chocolate is, lets face it, far more reliable than a man. Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. Chocolate chimp. Deborah Fox-Rothschild. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. Do you know a bakery around? Ben Strohecker, chocolatier. I love a man with chocolate on his breath. Were it not for deaths agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on the kitchen table, were hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you. I appreciate a balanced diet. John Travolta, Dont wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. TheLaughFactory. Chocolate is the greatest gift it was really great choice for gifting. I reckon its just a Chinese whisper. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. Katharine Hepburn. These compounds reduce the stickiness of platelets, cells that play an important role in blood clotting. I identify as a chocolate bar. Alicia Silverstone, The taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate entirely by myself. Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, Saturday Night Live, As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. Donut be jelly. (LogOut/ Girl I love to see and experience the sweetest you can be. Do you think you need more sweet? So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. Chocolate is an excellent energy booster, but it can make kids go crazy if they overeat. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Because she was a Her-She-y bar! There are a few things we can always count on when were having a bad day, but chocolate is one of them! I dont understand why so many so called chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. 5. Donut rain on my parade. Hey can you accompany me? He also suggested cocoa butter for skin treatment, piles and gout. Chocolate and kids together is a wild combination. I was going to get you a box of chocolates, but you already have a sweeter box. John Belushi, If any man has drunk a little too deeply from the cup of physical pleasure; if he has spent too much time at his desk that should have been spent asleep; if his fine spirits have become temporarily dulled; if he finds the air too damp, the minutes too slow, and the atmosphere too heavy to withstand; if he is obsessed by a fixed idea which bars him from any freedom of thought: if he is any of these poor creatures, we say, let him be given a good pint of amber-flavored chocolate and marvels will be performed. What do you call stolen cocoa? Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist? I want to go to heaven when I die! - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. Snickers he only snickers! Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. Ive called my dog Cadbury Research Department. "Take only one. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. TheLaughFactory. I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. Why does the jellybean go to school? my favorite is the m&m racist oe lol why are there no white m&ms. Nothing else comes to mind to finish this rhyme, so I'll just spit it out - most importantly, you gave us the Star Wars . So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. . Friend 2: Well, untill you live, you could go to Africa, and after you die, say to God that you've already been to hell. No, that's not an epi-pen in my pants. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Chocolate covered aunts. Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? We have plenty of pickupline ideas about chocolate for you to use. Whenever I look at you I see something more desirable than chocolate. You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. Copy This. They dont last long for fat people. A chocolate baa.They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing? Despite their hard and often seemingly thankless work, elves have a great sense of . And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Candy cow jump over the moon? I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. I am a serious chocoholic. Yo mamma so dumb, if her brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill a M&M. I do not like sweets but I would gladly eat them just to get close to you. 84. Put it in the microwave. Patrick Skene Catling. Though, it is still possible to console yourself with chocolate jokes. Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts, Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate. A handful of the funniest chocolate jokes will make your holiday celebration dramatic and merriment-filled. ", You can laugh out loud together with your friends with these chocolate jokes and riddles. Dairy? eating chocolate You No, the boy replied. Why is a Toblerone triangular? So candy bars are a health food. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. Because I want to cum inside your chocolate factory. Health Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I love hole foods. Your email address will not be published. Bean = vegetable. Can I have chocolate filling please?. No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? So, as weird as it sounds, memes really can help you to fight the coronavirus. Homer Simpson, Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm chocolate. Homer Simpson, Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of womens pants. Tosh made a rape joke . What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar? Kids and chocolate go together like peanut butter and jelly. You are the kind of sweet I am not willing to share. Final score: 569 points. I want to take all my breaks talking to you. A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. 59. Chocoearly. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! Cao-cao! Thanks. A cad-bury. Chocolate mousse! I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog. When no one understands you, chocolate is there. ChocoLATE In 1724, Dr. Richard Brookes claimed that chocolate prolonged life and cured ringworm and ulcers. Its like chocolate chip cookies, you cant get enough of them. You never know what youre going to get when you open a box of chocolates. Required fields are marked *. Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! Plane Chocolate! The electricians favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot. All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Nitric oxide plays such an important role in the maintenance of healthy blood pressure and, in turn, cardiovascular health. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) I heard you have a stash of kisses in your dorm can i possibly get one from you? Whos there? Hes a chocolate lab. I only eat chocolate for you, so there will be more of me to love. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. Chocolate isnt a food, its a medicine an anti-depressant. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. Darling, you are like chocolate, you make everything better. What use are cartridges in battle? Oh damn I never knew having you would give me the good kind of cavities. Exercise is a dirty word Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand! What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? What do parrots say when they see a candy bar? The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate? Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" The lisp magician gives everyone a chocolate bar. "Don't worry, son. You're welcome. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Are you chocolate pudding, because I want to spoon you all night long. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. A Kit Kat! Nursing Home. You're a chip off the old block (of cookie dough). I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. 3. Men are like Chocolate Bars. What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate? While some of the jokes on this list are pretty straightforward (see the Cat's boner-hat at the end), this one really is for the older crowd. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Why not get started now? Whos there? Bad knees.. Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? I dont really get the jokes funny at all! Since I lost my teeth all I can do is lick the chocolate off the M&Ms.. In a hotel sweet.What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? Elaine Sherman, Book of Divine Indulgences, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. He rubs it and a genie appears. Copy This. Addiction & Guilt Q: How do you confuse a complete moron? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. Darling I will supply you with stash of sweets and my never ending love for you. Strength What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and people who love you. 3. Furtiveness makes it better. (Its the only planet with chocolate.). More jokes for some laughs! What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes? Id give up chocolate, but Im no quitter. Dark chocolate chimp. Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. [1] Quick, Funny Jokes! Here, have some chocolate. Hershey. Sniggas. Could be a Chinese Wispa. Does your dad own a chocolate factory?