Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly. Young sons rebel for a reason but with enough work, you can mend a broken relationship. 3. Raise the issue in a non-confrontational manner as soon possible. Disclaimer regarding normal parent-child roles: There is the exception of the changing child-parent relationship when the parent is aging and the child takes on a care-giver identity akin to parenting. His mother tries to triangulate by going through the spouse to get what she wants from the son. Jackie Booe is a Catholic mother of four, grandmother ("Oma") to two, and wife to Mat since 1994. Support is essential for a childs development and growth, no matter how old they are. When youre a mother, it can be hard to know what to do when your son treats you poorly. 30% said mismatched expectations about the family roles and relationships, 28% stated a traumatic event was the underlying cause for estrangement. But why? She may try to manipulate him by saying things like,I know whats best for you,orYou need to do this because I said so.This type of mother-son relationship can be unhealthy for both parties involved because it can lead to resentment and anger on the sons part. Let them donate toys they dont need. Trey was a major mama's boy, whose mommy came over to take care of him when he had the flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on his chest, as Charlotte stood in the doorway horrified. The son feels like hes not good enough for his mother. Jackie has been a teacher for many decades with awards and accolades from all across the country. Again, this will lead to resentment, negatively affecting their relationship. She might even tell you what classes to take in school or if you should get married or have children. Here are some types of dysfunctional mother-son relationships: The Oedipal mother-son relationship is one in which the son perceives his mother as a sexual rival. 5 Signs God Is Trying to Remove Someone from Your Life! How To Survive Financially As A Single Mom: 13 Actionable Tips To Fewer Money Woes! Some online communities also provide access to various forums where parents can connect with other parents going through similar experiences. 0. And i guarantee you that nothing hurts as much as a destroyed relationship between you and your mother. A mother may wonder how her son could hate her after she gave birth to him. Remember, he is still learning how to be an adult. She may also cause him to feel like shes trying to control his life. Therefore, the sons feel the mothers dont have faith in them as adults, or of their ability to make good decisions. However, there are some points that mothers need to keep in mind so that they do not make their sons resent them later on. Lastly, if you want your son to grow up to be a responsible adult, it is important that you respect him as an adult. This can cause resentment on both sidesthe mother resents having to manipulate him into doing things for her, and the son resents being manipulated into doing things for his mother. It may be that the husband/dad is not living with the family anymore or has died. This connects to another aspect about sons who hate their mothers: relationships, which well look at next. The mother makes the son feel guilty for doing things without her. In normal conditions, this shift in the parent-child relationship does not lead to sons hating their mothers.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',111,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may end up having a hard time developing and maintaining their own relationships as they grow into adulthood. It is also considered a normal way of parenting for mothers who have endured the same behavior from their own mothers. You can also get psychological or medical advice from professionals who can help you recover from this harmful behavior! This kind of behavior can hurt the sons mental health and affect his life as an adult. Renowned clinical psychologist and respected university professor, Jordan B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship extensively via professional talks and books. Its important for mothers to have their own independent source of self-worth and not put such a burden on their sons. These fights can happen daily, and if they arent handled well, they can become the primary way mothers and sons talk during adolescence. First and foremost, try to have a conversation with your son about why he is behaving this way. You might have heard the old saying, Mother knows best. But why do some sons have difficulty listening to or respecting their mothers? This is especially true in sons who have Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1','ezslot_6',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1-0');Although this psychological study examined later-born, not first-born, boys, it did illustrate how mothers may treat their sons differently and, in turn, could lead to negative effects. One of the most important things you can do to create a healthy relationship with your son is to let him make his own decisions. The males who cut off contact with their mothers listed the following reasons for their estrangements:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_19',158,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); From the parents side, having a better understanding of their sons point of view was a key factor. They may disrespect their mothers because they divorced their father. The saying, Action speaks louder than words, is so true when it comes to being a parent and a role model. Be careful not to overreact when your son makes a mistake. A mother-son relationship is one of the most important relationships a man can have. Mathew is a grad student, a retired successful international fighter, a black belt master instructor in several martial arts systems, and the instructor to hundreds of Little Ninjas that use him as a jungle gym each week. An enmeshed mother-son relationship is one in which the boundaries between the two are blurred. I have identified five types of difficult mother: controlling, angry, narcissistic, envious and emotionally unavailable though most difficult mothers may display all traits to a greater or. Many sons feel that their mothers try to control every aspect of their lives. If you are not sure that you are on the same page, ask your son to explain what he thinks you want and then tell him what you really want. Disrespecting boundaries may start at a young age and continue through adulthood. You want to set boundaries for him and make sure he treats you with respect, but at the same time, you might have trouble letting go of the idea that he will always be a child and that any behavior is justwhat kids do.. Many times, a son will hate his mother because she is continually crossing boundaries, criticizing, and disrespecting his choices. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Dont Be Afraid to Ask for Professional Help. 6. If you must meet with your son to discuss something that he is doing wrong, try to wait until a time when he has had a chance to relax and unwind. An unhealthy relationship can also be characterized by a lack of communication between the two. Make sure you show him how much you believe in him and what he can do, and dont forget to give him compliments when he succeeds at something. Mothers should talk to their sons gently. They respond poorly to critique and have a high need for excessive praise. How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but its always nice to hear what he has to say. Mothers are often the first person to love you, care for you, and to show you what it means to be a parent. The sons actions can include: Sons who treat their mothers poorly arent just hurting themselves. When you see him being kind or giving, praise him. An academic study in the Journal of Family Psychology studied 1,500 adolescents to recognize the parenting differences African American mothers had with their sons and daughters. Mothers must try not to get angry as they write the letter. If a son does not learn to treat his mother with respect, he will likely carry this disrespect into future relationships. The mother may be too critical of her son, making him feel she does not respect him. Mothers who are controlling usually have high expectations for their children. Your son needs to learn how to take care of himself and manage his relationships with people, even if theyre not family members. This can make them less receptive to their mothers attempts to help them with their problems or offer advice about how they should behave. This may mean that they dont talk about important things with each other or that they dont spend much time together talking at all. If your son struggles to make friends or has problems in his romantic relationships, it might be because of how his mother has treated him. A toxic mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance, where the son feels helpless in his relationship with his mother. It might not be easy, but its important to remember that he needs your support and parental guidance more than he does being judged and having things held against him. Sons can also feel suffocated by mothers who are overly involved in their lives. 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