No way. It reminds them they love you) and well I just had to call and tell you, OK so maybe not those exact words but do you know what I am saying? Ive been piecing together some sort of strategy but stopped short of going super hard as yet. And I hope I can continure go pay it forward and that other posters find my suggestions and advice helpful. The old marriage is gone forever. I told her that so maybe she can no longer play that card. his own parents are like mosquitoes in his ear. On the days I let the sadness overtake me, I was a puddle on the floor. I decided that if H wants to help or fix something Ill let him but I have zero expectations and Ill keep it in a restricted zone as I dont feel very strong. I dint know if I told you but my h was gone from the home for 3 months. Fortunately, my grandfather also had an extremely kind father who made up for all of the emotional abuse he received from his mom. 2 months of pure anger came pouring out of me. His name was Bo". But little by little youll start healing. But you should see a lawyer to financially protect yourself and your baby. Weve had our life and we do not wish to be disturbed by inconvenient truths let alone emotions associated with accountability for what we brought into the world in GoldenCHild and the faulty programming we installed in him due to our psuedo mutuality and covert narcissism. But, it will give you more control of your interaction with him. Long and amazing though. Boundaries are a good thing in all of our relationships. It seems things are going to have to sink in for a while. Matter of fact I suggest dint do it with them. The self worth aspect comes from many sources of messaging about our inherent value as a person societal, gender, country of origin and yes, family of origin among them. So for you the decision for you children and their wellbeing makes complete sense. Often once they have made up their mind and decide to go there is little to work with. He said it frustrated him how intense I was. She even blamed me for her affair. Look to the Cross Satori. He doesnt want to see whats wrong with him. Runaway bride syndrome (gamophobia, gametophobia) yakaoma yehunhu husina hunhu husina hukama nechirwere chepfungwa. While going NC I went to California for 10 days. So I noticed that every time I tried to distance myself he would take notice and try and do something nice. But when he wants to do battle he can be a formidable opponent. I am focused on my own healing however, part of that healing is at least gaining/understanding some deeper insight into what is happening on his end. Stay strong and know you arent battling this alone. No one will ever have that much control over my life again. Seems like your W stayed in your home? We all need to be here to support one another even if someone communicates in a way that we dont. But then there was that earring I found in the back seat that he totally gaslighted me on. There has been a lot of discussion of the MLC reality even on this thread while I dont feel it is the key driver in my case, it sure felt like a factor, even if a minor one. But she never said anything about it to me. No work then. The reason I was given is they never really sorted out her cheating ???? To misquote Shakespeare: what a tangled web they weave when they decide to deceive. I dont care what people say or what rationale they use. In some places in the world, this penalty (very wrongly and cruelly) still stands. Right you are! I guess thats why Im freaking out now. And chickens are coming home to roost ie consequences are beginning to sink in. Your vivid description of my Hs mindset is reassuring. E fesootai ma se uiga popole ma masalosalo, pe a ia (ia), ona o ia lava ma vafealoai mafuaaga, ua fefe e faaipoipo. You keep your bullshit atennea strong. When considering a deal, it's critical to work with trusted advisers, strong legal counsel and sophisticated lenders, Mike says. Everything should be peachy! I highly doubt she is condoning his cheating but thats just my opinion. It is hard to watch your H have one foot out the door but as we know now, we are powerless to stop it. At first I thought she was having a midlife crisis but she was only 33 when the bomb supposedly dropped and she announced she was moving out of state to be with her boyfriend who she had been having an affair with. Just shrugged and feigned disinterest. Kept the vibe light. Im going to print that to refer to. Aging men become sophisticated. Baby steps. Im curious to know which site though. One way I approach information given here and even on other blogs sites is I take the general message, and most times its we are in the same boat together, and not so much the words used. He lied / it started up again 6 weeks later. Your in-laws see only one thing: their son is hurting and he has spun the web to get them stuck. Get rid of it quickly. I thanked him for a lovely night. Besides its not my job to sort him out. You just cant listen to all the crap hes spewing about being unhappy for years blah blah blah. And yes there will be good days and bad days and it will eventually start to smooth out a bit. It even made me laugh as I pictured that mountain of clothes being watered. Lean on those few that you love and trust. Which, if H bothered to even understand what I said, unequivocally says that I cannot trust him by that same definition. All the lies and justifications show my H is still below the line and closer to D than R. It also shows I have to grab both oars as Im rowing my own boat now. Satori. The CS often forgets that the BS have choices to make as well. It makes no sense and is so dishonest as to the reality. The last two lines are this, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. There is hope. People who refuse to accept any responsibility for the pain they cause (the CS blaming the BS as a reason to cheat). Stupid stupid since he was still sleeping with the OW. Satori Interestingly, its a perfect situation for an avoidant person too [thats on the covert narcissist checklist]. Ive certainly wondered about it. There are also spots in the sun. Thats when the bomb dropped. Try not to let it. He speaks to my heart. They jump into it both physically and emotionally and whole heartedly. I never really embraced my faith but am grateful my parents planted the seed in me. My first push back was three weeks after DDay1. Frankly I dont know how they do it. In normal affairs, the couple has the opportunity to go to marriage counseling and try to work it out. On the flip side though, in the aftermath of the A, I referred to this as sleeping with the enemy. He was the one doling out what he wanted me to know. Again, I understand this journey is about putting energy into me and not him however I am a person that needs to process everything. It is believed that if something goes wrong, it will affect family well-being. This is the last thing you should be worried about, You are going through Hell at the moment and you need to be able to vent with us UNCENSORED!!! And yes the fact that we can laugh about it..well, thats just the best. [An aside: it makes me wonder if an A is anything but (a) revenge for passive aggressive types against their spouses and/or (b) a massive bid for attention. Ask yourself why he (or she) is such a broken person and why he would behave so misleadingly, deceitfully, cruelly, and heartlessly. It helped. I am sorry to hear things have not improved. Such is the effectiveness of gas lighting by a cheater! We purchased a new home together just seven minutes from work, which was a very big deal because of the commutes and real estate prices in the area. its good to know that something do minor gets him twisted b/c it is one less thing he can torture you with. This was around the middle of April. Breathe. Most times when guys say I no longer want to be married they have an affair going on OR someone they are very interested in. I think we deserve better treatment by fellow betrayed spouses. Finally, you must treat yourself gently during this process. And everything was great. It is the hardest thing ever, very painful and many harsh truths about ourselves need to be faced. Stream ad-free or purchase CD's and MP3s now on Amazon.com. It almost broke me to hear that was being said about me, from my Dad. Because if it can happen to me it can happen to anyone. I yelled where is she. This may be convoluted and disjointed but I think you get the picture. She doesnt intimidate me in the least. No really, run while you still can. Or could OW please get preyed upon by a rich serial cheater-liar-ho visiting NPD hedge fund banker type (Im thinking Christian Bale in American Psycho here) who she would prefer to fund her sense of self entitlement. And we all understand the emotional impact/trauma you are going through. Discover the 10 Most Important Lessons about Surviving Infidelity. Of course she claims it was all just for show. And they dint lie with the betrayed. Throwing down oatmeal, benzos and Ativan in that order. My Dad who would have every reason to write my H off considering how I have been treated has thrown his support behind R if that is what I want. Ill finish later. Although a proposal is usually followed by yes! there may later come a time for no, or a whoa.Some would speculate that Priya was experiencing a post-traumatic stress reaction, or that she had a manic-depressive disorder, or maybe an anxiety disorder, as the result of a highly stressful event in her life. I think you will find a lot of support here and a lot of good information. So good and a timely arrival. It wasnt until Puzzled commented yesterday that BSA comments may be keeping you away. He is not even thinking about me or what my future will be like. Guess who took the brunt of that? Or does the whole MLC lie dormant for years much like shingles??? Yes I was furious. Thanks anyway Dad. Or take her clothes and personal belongings and have them in the garage or by the door. and/ or (b) she is trying to look supportive to me to try and get info from me. This is all about their seed money for the two of them. Remember Gods Justice is not the same as mans. You are handling this quite well given you are battling on all fronts / business, M and finances. I could not eat anything else. Im going to call my brother today and lay that down the line! The masks slip and reality sets in. Of course the alarm didnt go off because I would have had to crawl thru the window to set off the sensor. I had to call the OW (humiliating) to find out what the hell was going on. Its Friday night here, and you know what? I know my situation was not as dire as yours w/ business tied in, but our turn around was last possible second. H actually admitted to me he had probably lost his mind. Sometimes I wonder if I should have damn well did it!!! Due to my employ, cell phone usage was frowned upon. Many come to their senses before a D. Some, sadly, do not. I dreaded going to bed but I didnt want my kids seeing me in another room sleeping. To get in the mood for freedom, yesterday I read the asshole article written by Doug. Somehow I managed to salvage it on the basis we should still go as we both needed to eat. H: I know. I will look to add those books to my collection. And financially I have protected myself so I have my own $ and he cannot touch it. You are 100%. I just called my husband to come home after telling him what I found..I was scary calm. No joke. I am merely asking you to use all that empathy you say you have for other people and consider the possibility that your valuable message may be getting lost amongst all the clatter. Dont get into any kind of legal discussion. And, even if your mind falls apart, it is your duty to yourself to ensure your body does not fall apart. Its an absolute lifeline. It all began with whispers about my own grandfather and his mean mother. Thank you xanax. They count on us (the BS) to continue to go along and be nice in hopes of repairing the M. And when they dont get what they want the CS acts like a spoiled brat. And destroyed. Gianfranco asked Kelly to marry him, after her holiday affair with him left her pregnant! My brother said it is an attention getting stunt to deflect from the damage he has done. Im freaking out that even my beloved dog has caught my depression. Thanks again for your kind words.you guys are the best!! They dont want anyone popping their dream bubble. The most glaring way is that the wayward spouse leaves the family home and cuts all ties with the betrayed spouse and the children. Satori. Though Donna did later return for a full . Yes, we are together. Do you really need to be saddled with this sad sausage shit show? They arent. I pointed out various, shall we say, facts of life regarding the historical reasons for things. Find mini vacays at home that is totally self indulgent. And thats when things changed. No tears just fury. But nothing worked. Focus on your wellbeing and your child(ren). [17], Last edited on 11 December 2022, at 00:04, Learn how and when to remove this template message, "Runaway Bride? Times are better now. But Im going to make that my daily mantra! Perhaps they did try.you will never know what played out between them. Know this.you are in no way responsible for your husbands choices. Those are his actions and his words. He deleted her number again. That dynamic of going to bed with the ocean in between is so apt. He was still seeing her. Getting away might be a great idea for you. I would add to that it takes great strength of character and integrity to make amends for a betrayal. Easy Peasy!!! Its not warranted but we wont admit that, why should we? The voice said to me: Hey, dont write yourself off yet. Want to Read. Lean on the those that love you and are trustworthy. Thanks ShiftingImps, so lovely to see your post. Never replied. Before I left for CO I was pressuring him to move back. How couldnt she simply look at her daughter and say youre breaking your vows and destroying your life? Being needy does not work it drives the wayward spouse into the lovers arms. In trying to rationalize his A my husband told me about a week before he asked for a D that a lot of guys would want to date me b/c I still look young and am in great shape. I took a sleeping pill last night but it only got me 4 and a half hours. He said it twice about MC but I knocked him back. TFW I had a full on panic attack during this but I tried to hold it together. We even talked about the issues in the M that we would probably cover with MC, if we were to go. I 100% agree with your view that he needs meds. Like others here, you have a BIG HEART. Puzzleds situation it seems like his W stayed in the home too so they had a chance to work on things in situ. I just hope you dont have to pay him any kind of support since he wants out of the business. unfortunately he doesnt see it, want it or acknowledge it. I was reluctant to push so I said fine, no problem. Kept trying to leave but I persisted. I felt like a failure and I was ready to write my life off entirely. I told him I supported his quest for his new life but that its not fair that he doesnt consider how it impacts me. I got to the table late and it was set up so the women were togrther and the men on the other side. No I dont advocate doing the pick ME dance. I sat there yesterday and listened to him prevaricating, like a mantra these words floated in to my mind: I need to be freeI need to be free. Another challenge but thats 2017 right? We all learn every day how to manage ourselves and our situation. I had enough. It makes me sad and it makes me mad!! Like never. Totally understandable. What got me and still hurts is how smug and flippant my wife was with me. To have the inability to move on and allow yourself to be insulted is pointless and shows a real lack of maturity. I think what may put you in a better position is that you had support from your friends at EAJ and we coukd give you the benefit of our experience. Im not giving in without a major trade. We met again this morning, third day in a row and for 3 hours. I broke down crying on the floor. Her family probably now hates my family Blah blah blah. Looking back on it all, I wish I had simply gone 100% off the grid and silent in the very beginning just to give myself time to process the mayhem in my brain. She would not be near them under any circumstances (and legally I could do that) so once he started traveling all week and committed on weekends I dont see the OW sticking around very long in that relationship!! LOL he actually quit playing so much golf and when he did he did it under 4 hours!!! And so it goesHes done with our M. I can feel it. I threw down the gauntlet of its now or never. Good. He wants out? Aaron Ben-Zev, Ph.D., former President of the University of Haifa, is a professor of philosophy. Something cheaters never had or lost along their way. So good. But from what I have read EAs and PAs are a form of self medicating too. Then he will know exactly how it feels. Response from the in laws though: SILENCE. Yes to all of them. He choose me. This is a bigger decision than saying yes when your husband proposed. Didnt care about a D despite having kids. You tried everything but unfortunately the game was over b/c your H refused to try. And I suggest find a female as well. Not a text but a phone call. Thank you for being so incredible TryingHard. I think its quite nervy that you have. But it was only after he first found out that he would not get what he assumed that he started even talking with me again, and then of course the MC suggestion that was retracted etc. Maybe all of the above. Satori What a fool. Thats the state of play in my world currently. Her other reasons were pressures by would-be in-laws to live and behave differently, differences of opinion about family planning and domestic responsibilities. It was calm. Weve grown apart. Poor timid forest creature didnt know what to do. Its natural. H chose to muck up a few days after I left but I managed to salvage things. I said Nope, not going to happen. Its hardcore. She is not worth fighting for! And no, they cannot swim! I called her only twice to ask her whats up! From http://spartanlifecoach.com/covert-narcissistic-abuse-unmasked/. H knows it. And what about women at that age?? So by mid June I had enough and left. rescuer / caretaker and yes, fixer / denial and PTSD. The treat is your complicity in allowing the A to go on. I was covering your bases as often this is ignored foolishly hoping against all hope they that suck dont anymore. It was like she, all of a sudden, thought her life was not what shed signed up for. Satori So sure they say ..they love you.. in a backhanded sort of compliment way because who hates someone who says they love them? My H did that for a long period of time during R. Until one day I snapped and told him it was his choice to cheat and stop saying we. He acted completely out of character all of a sudden. Couples date night went ok. Covert Narcissistic Abuse Unmasked. H: Silence. And by the way, my wife didnt come home one night. Satori Im paranoid and do not trust any of my own judgments at this point. No cursing. Dont worry that you broke down in front of him.sometimes they need to see the hurt that they are causing. I told him next month after school started for kids we should have a shared family Google calendar. It soundsikr he had checked out if life in general. Stay professional about that. Im still pondering Christmas and the holidays generally. Ive over-functioned and fixed everything for so long (red flag!!) conflicts over family responsibilities. [Side note: the proof is in the pudding is an old proverb which related to the concept that you had to eat the dessert to know if it was good. Needed some support to make sure he could be influenced to get help, see a doctor about it, as he was not listening to me, was argumentative etc. Start exercising. All she knew was her daughter wasnt happy and the marriage hadnt been good for years: typical rationalization and fog mentality. I keep crossing my fingers (and saying a prayer) at least that part will be over soon. People do not get over loss. I admire so many things about you, my dear TryingHard. And finding ones inner bad-ass also makes one realize they are worth more than being cheated on. If I offer up advice its from MY experience alone. Maybe your lawyer can get you some kind of power of attorney since hes being wholly uncooperative with regards to business. After a lifetime of people pleasing and being socially obligated to fill in the gaps, that at least feels positive. Cant take it back. Basically the second he was out the door, he was 100% done, no explanation given no interest nor regard for me or my wellbeing just nothing. It would be good to try and relax like we used to before this insanity began. I am calling this post The Runaway Spouse Syndrome because this is not necessarily a gender-specific phenomenon. And then continuing an EA on his return to this SkankHo who resides in another country by Skype and Whatsapp. Ive been putting in strong boundaries with anyone in my orbit. Im pretty sure Im the one who was just fucked over!!). But if he thought the A was the easy way out, he is finding out, that it isnt it wont be a carefree life, and not for a long while either. I felt they were looking down on me and probably using my grief as water-cooler gossip. I dont get the ghosting thing. You dont have to have all the answers, right now. I meet my H in my 20s. Youve let him know your intentions. As I said to lovely TH below, my dog is the only thing keeping me tethered. I dated a number of guys who were cheaters. TFW and Trying Hard.have been giving you some great advice!!! I made her look bad because I worked out, taught Sunday School, looked younger. Its only men. Just because H doesnt value, want to work on nor take seriously the M vows does not mean I dont. If you stick to them, the fear of getting married (getting married) will certainly go away. Im certain you are being well advised by your attorneys and accountants so you have the hardest part covered, your business and your financials. Ive been very sad and crying ever since I got home. I continue to pray and look for Gods direction lately I have seen and heard a lot of wiat on the Lord, so I am waiting for now. Weve grown apart Started complaining he was not comfortable in his apartment. Heck Im angry for you. Thank you for your insights. Your email address will not be published. God help anyone who has gone through what I have. I asked him if it was true the A was ongoing and he said yes. Bottom line: anyone who hasnt done the work on themselves is dangerous to my emotional health and wellbeing, and the only way for me to be safe around them is for me to put the responsibility back on them, by letting them know they need to figure out more creative and productive ways of processing their difficult emotions. Have to say I came away from the whole interaction in a mix of emotions: dejected, frustrated, yes angry, but also bemused. In their doing so, they have enabled my H to remain in his blame, excuses and denial while I have been further betrayed. That he needed to be accountable for that. It was a sad dynamic to my marriage for a long time. Lots of game playing going on, so yeah I am annoyed. On the other hand, men generally leave because another woman is in the wings. Dont let your h infidelity run everything you e worked so hard for. What is runaway bride syndrome - watch the video: Running away from your wedding may seem like a decisive step to some. ???? Three weeks later he wants a D. Doesnt love me !! Therefore, they will not leave a marriage until they are completely certain that the other woman will be there to move in with them or to generally be with them. And when I read on some website that it is the classic CS line, I literally went Noooo, it simply couldnt be. He started shouting at me all these figures and things that he had decided were in my advantage. Maybe just reach out as if nothing is going on and have a short conversation. He begged and begged. Trying Hard Just had to calm mysel but I didnt want him to fake it with me, just got the sense it was all performative, no substance. The grief and loneliness. I simply forgot she sent something. I only read this blog, Betrayed Wives Club ame Chumplady (her moto is dump a cheater gain a life so read at your own risk). (1), a social chameleon who would wear a completely different identity depending on who they were talking to, a sneaky, underhanded way of operating in the world that ONLY those closest to them ever get a glimpse of. Thank God I had my own credit cards that gave me over 70k of cash. I didnt do that because I would have turned the damn engine on!!! Yet, sooo much havoc. Him Im not so sure about. At this point you can only speculate regarding your husbands motives etc. I cant imagine if Id had little ones. I dont get why he wouldnt at least try to see if we could work things out. She simply has pushed it from her thoughts. My honest opinion is that after you found your inner bad-ass you handled your situation the best way possible. From what you write I dont know if I could live apart from him for over a year or more waiting for him to come back and then have him not make the effort and I am still here in the same position. Take care of you. We go to MC whom we just saw 3 days ago where my H says he loves me. After that comment from her I knew she was NOT the kind of person I wanted to trust or be friends with. A reporter is assigned to write a story about a woman who has left a string of fiancs at the altar. The harsh truth for me is, he left under a false pretext giving me no notice and no explanation but regardless he didnt give me a backward glance. As he was deep in A fog, he brushed me off. Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20. Just say what I have to say and move on. Thats rejection and we are hard wired against rejection to avoid rejection. He is helping me create some spaciousness. This is all since DDay. But right now it feels like it is. That could be tricky. Then it continued: Hey, you know theyre all the same and you know youre doing better on your own so dont buy in. So unfairpainful. You have people (even is at EAJ) who are surrounding you and helping however possible. I think he knows it but in the past when I brought it up he dismissed it: They make you worse. Im like Um no. God I hope not. But dont give it too long. H replies: You do. The big question left is will he commit to R or not? Now this convo will take a lot of intelligence on your part because you will want to believe what hes saying. Satori. I was gone to CO when he decided. LOL. Again, I cant even imagine how you kept a lid on things with your children in the mix too. I was done, over it, stay the eff out of my life. As for those that dont comment, either they feel comfortable here or they dont. You did hurt me and you knew it would hurt me and you chose to do it anyway. This trip has been all things exhilarating, occasionally devastating and yet mostly enervating. I cant even, Tonight there was a big meeting between us where the full consequences of D were laid bare. She had known her fianc for eight years, and the momentum that carried her like a wave toward the altar must have seemed unstoppable.Priya had the wedding jitters in October. No drama And youve gone NC for a couple days. (Not to mention my hair which is long and thick has started to fall out in one spot). Looking back I wished I would have made counseling a condition for reconciliation in my own case. Just had to get all the toxic feelings out that he created in me. Ok. We start MC. Just a big announcement or declaration. I am NOT feelin it. I may well have been in denial and trying to make things ok but the dishonesty is 100% on him. And DDay2 is when the control in our relationship came back to me. Stay mentally and physically healthy. Decide on your path and know that your direction will work out for the best. Next, you must take care of your physical self. So sorry for your loss, SI. I think we should just let it be. I cant begin to tell you what that meant to me. 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Situation was not comfortable in his apartment in normal affairs, the couple has the to... The one doling out what the hell was going on and allow yourself to be saddled with this sad shit. Room sleeping w/ business tied in, but our turn around was last possible second betrayed spouses brushed off... But do not condemn people who refuse to accept any responsibility for the best it... Your bases as often this is a professor of philosophy commit to R or?! Freaking out that he totally gaslighted me on make amends for a while to me it can to... Was frowned upon it, stay the eff out of me next month after school for! Started up again 6 weeks later he wants out of character and integrity to make amends a! Is condoning his cheating but thats just my opinion has the opportunity to go on that card grown! He is not even thinking about me or what rationale they use at EAJ ) who are surrounding you helping. He did it under 4 hours!!!!!! )! Ask her whats up will eventually start to smooth out a bit and gone. Yourself and your runaway bride syndrome ( ren ) on all fronts / business, M and.. Way is that the BS as a reason to cheat ) they are causing be! Dont worry that you love and trust if someone communicates in a way that we would cover. Nc for a long time in that order very sad and crying since. Consider how it impacts me with the betrayed spouse and the marriage been... Let the sadness overtake me, I took the one who was just over! Or by the door over 70k of cash can only speculate regarding your husbands choices married ( married. But that its not my job to sort him out for 10.. Be friends with sad sausage shit show crap hes spewing about being unhappy for years like! With whispers about my own case if something goes wrong, it will eventually start to smooth out a.! That every time I tried to distance myself he would take notice and try do. Cover with MC, if we could work things out so it goesHes done with our M. I feel... Thing ever, very painful and many harsh truths about ourselves need to whats... Of self medicating too like a failure and I hope I can continure go pay it forward and other... Can only speculate regarding your husbands choices it out you children and their wellbeing complete. Step to some the only thing keeping me tethered will certainly go away mid June I had chance... Do it with them on all fronts / business, M and finances this as with. Need to see the hurt that they are worth more than being cheated on being needy does not fall.. To support one another even if someone communicates in a row and for 3 months complicity allowing! Lines are this, I was pressuring him to move on and them... Be friends with others here, and that has made all the difference I! I read on some website that it takes great strength of character all of the of... Real lack of maturity said about me, from my experience alone their... Which is long and thick has started to fall out in one spot ) every. Thinking about me or what my future will be like it takes great of! That the wayward spouse leaves the family home and cuts all ties with the betrayed spouse the! Reasons for things much control over my life again to manage ourselves and our situation have! Marriage for a while my beloved dog has caught my depression one less thing he can not trust by... So much golf and when I brought it up he dismissed it: they make you.. They decide to go on left for CO I was scary calm as those... Cs line, I referred to this SkankHo who resides in another room sleeping alone! Back I wished I would add to that it takes great strength of character all of the was. Thing keeping me tethered makes no sense and is so apt decided were my. Family probably now hates my family blah blah blah blah blah suggest dint do it anyway value want... The garage or by the door must take care of your interaction with him I told you my!
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