I suggest that you talk to him only when its about the kids or something important. You need to realize that a big portion of the pain you feel comes from an unprocessed past and that the worst thing you could do right now is to get involved with another person. Everything seemed perfect, we had a beautiful, mature relationship for 2 years. But now he thinks it is unfair to me; that he is unhappy, therefore can not make me happy. How did your stories develop since you posted here? As a human, a good friend, a well wisher please help them rather than making them feel they are responsible for the breakup. Other than genetic inheritance, an individuals experiences,environment and perceptions plays an important part as well. Hell most likely need some kind of incentive to respect you, love you, and want to be with you. She said she still has a lot of love for me, and care for me more than anyone else she knows, and that she still want me in her life, she wants to be there for me, and she wants me to be there for her, as we were best friends before being boyfriend/girlfriend. He told them "if it's not me, it's nobody else!" and sexually assaulted her with a pellet gun, records show . So keep in mind that your depressed ex-boyfriend doesnt want your help right now. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. I have been writing a journal on everything that happened from the day, how I felt and what my thoughts were in details. A dog or a cat will likely provide you with more comfort and security than someone who finds it excruciatingly painful to help his or her partner get through a difficult time. We're both in our early/mid-30s and were together for three-and-a-half years. If you know your boyfriend has been struggling with depression, you might have realized his behaviors have changed over time. I am so torn right nowalthough we have only been together for a short time (four months), what we had was real. He told me he didnt treat me the way I should be treated and I dont deserve that because Im an amazing person. Fear of getting hurt: Sometimes, depression is so difficult to deal with anything else feels too scary. He suffers from depression, and I believe to also be bipolar. How is it going for you now? I know I cant fix him so Im slowly starting to accept he may not deal with it or come back. If he didnt care about you when you needed him the most, he doesnt deserve you at your best either. He has been diagnosed with Depression and Bi-Polar. Depressed boyfriend broke up with me, what is the best way to navigate this? He kept disappointing me by canceling plans last minute and when I finally communicated my disappointment, which we agreed to do, he said I triggered him and caused his anxiety to raise everytime I messaged him. I know thats what your emotions are telling you to do, but its not right. Should I message him in a few weeks asking how hes doing? Did you guys stay friends or start dating again? Follow the rules of no contact and let him come to you. Then the next day he messaged me saying he thinks he needs to go back to counselling and didnt know what was wrong. If you feel your husbands/boyfriends depression is no more tolerable and breakup is the only option available, do not leave them untreated in the mid-way. Its difficult to face a breakup on its own but to also see the man you love go through so much pain hurts more. The same is true for your ex. But when something bad happens (not implying that it will), he could want someone to help him get through his misery. He didn't stay overnight or anything drasticbut it was a breaking point for him and he was prescribed new medication and sees a psychiatrist. 1) Should I be present for him during his hard times as a friend? For example, he was friends with a childhood bully of mine who really tortured me and he just couldnt seem to understand why that hurt me. PsychReel do not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. People with depression (especially guys) oftentimes internalize their problems. I did drop a letter off at his home when wasnt there. We had a great relationship so I thought. I met him online and things moved pretty fast, he was very loving and always calling me and texting me. then said "I Love you" for the first time. 1 Feb 20, 2017 #1 My boyfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me about 4 weeks ago. Surround yourself with loved ones. He also said that the breakup was something he had not thought about earlier, but since a few days only. It might be good to start considering what to do in the future about this relationship. Be kind to yourself. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me. What do i do - HealingWell If you need assistance for mental health issues, please seek expert opinion and assistance immediately.The information on this page is not designed to replace a doctor or physician's independent judgment about the appropriateness or risks of a procedure for a given patient nor does it represent a diagnoses or advice. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me (7 ways to reconnect), https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#, a lack of relationships or withdrawal from previous relationships, negative feelings toward yourself and others, reduced emotional abilities, including having less verbal or nonverbal expressions, difficulty adjusting to social situations, a tendency toward showing fake emotions, such as pretending youre happy at a wedding, a loss of libido or a lack of interest in physical intimacy, persistent physical problems, such as being sick often. But when you are in one with depression, an important thing to do is understand and learn more about the condition. He may not necessarily come back to you for love because he might not let go of old perceptions of you. I told him I will wait for him while he works things out. and would complain about everything in his life. Aside from that, it is important to know if his depression was caused by a specific situation, or if it is something they are still struggling with because if that is the case, they might not go back until it is resolved. Ive seen this happen many times and its honestly very sad. If his view of you changed, he might not as hell date other people. If your boyfriend pretended to be depressed, you need to know that he used a very common Its not you, its me excuse. He fooled you into pitying him and leaving him alone so he could do whatever he wanted to do. I really feel like talking to someone who is in the same shoes to feel better although I dont know if that would make both feel better. Most people rely on external things for happiness. They express that the breakup is not their girlfriends fault and that they have some things to figure out on their own. Thing's just recently started going downhill, causing him to quit his job and to be admitted to the hospital. It is not even them. With proper communication you will be able to understand the true nature of your partners mental illness thereby helping him in getting a proper cure. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. He could just be dealing with stress and doesnt know how to handle his stress. Trust issues may include factors such as jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, relational game playing, lack of reliability and dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial compatibility, and lack of mutually-supportive goals. This is pretty typical behavior for depressed men who aren't getting adequately treated and by that I mean, aren't in therapy as well as taking medication. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me - Tiny Buddha He hasnt spoken to anyone about the separation and carries on like nothings happening. If you want to get back to him even though he is depressed you can try to change things up. Often, one partner may get so depressed he stops working, and that can lead to a cascade of other problems.. Breakups caused by depression are more common than you may think. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. I was sad for him and sad for us. Hey, thank you for everything you have written, reading your messages makes me realise that I am not alone in this and there are other people living the exact same thing ! He needed to break up with you, be it temporarily, because some aspect or aspects of the . No arguments. He broke up with me. These emotions are likely a natural part of losing touch with someone who mattered to you. stressful life experiences may affect your mental health in various ways sometimes trigger prolonged and severe emotional distress. Week into my breakup now. A few studies show that a part of the basal ganglia called the nucleus accumbens has been referred to as the pleasure center. We hung out last week, and not much progress has been made. I told him Id always be here for him and how much I love him. Much love to anyone who is going through the same situation, well all walk through this together :). From the following article My depressed boyfriend broke up with me, you will gather information about the criticality and consequences of having a depressed partner. Motivating him during times of distress and helping him follow a disciplined lifestyle may reduce his depressive symptoms. If I may ask, how is everything going with you and your girlfriend now? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. I also gave birth 5 hours after his mum passed so I strongly believe he has a lot of emotions that hasnt dealt with. I just dont know how to stop missing him and start to move on. Be your partner mentally healthy or not. So that all doesnt help because he said it made him feel overwhelmed and that on top of all that, he didnt have the energy to give me all the love I deserve. It can be inferred that your boyfriend might have had extreme mood fluctuations which made him take such a decision of breaking up. Well just make it simple and split them up into two types; long-term and short-term. Did your boyfriend break up with you because of depression and youre wondering why he did that? going thru this right now.. a week in today and non contact with him im so sad and confused but also cant even begin to imagine what HE is going through this is really hard for me. Just good times when we were physically together. Feelings of self-doubt and depression go hand in hand. I Miss My Ex-girlfriend So Much It Hurts! I kid you not, I felt like my entire world shattered. Understand how each of you is responsible for caring for others, but at the same time, the other person is not responsible for fulfilling your every need.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_13',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If, at any time, you see it is needed, find couples counseling, this will help you both deal with the challenges that may come. He cant be because someone who leaves when youre struggling emotionally is in the relationship only for the good times. I supposed telling the truth would make them feel even more depressed as theyd hurt their partners and bring a strong undesirable reaction out of them. your partners mental health. Its what he needs to stop feeling the negative emotions he broke up with you for. Not only that, a person can become depressed because of the imbalance of their brain chemistry. Do they match his words? It breaks my heart. There were times he triggered my trauma too, but I was able to forgive him for it but he says he still hasnt forgiven me. Its also you because he associated unpleasant emotions with you and let those emotions suffocate him and affect his feelings for you. Sometimes we have problems, and we need to have the knowledge and strength to deal with them. She said she doesnt love me the same way as before, that she doesnt feel happy anymore. During this time we barely fought and were super compatible--we were always joking around and having fun. Our last night together was great. If he wanted your pity and support, he would have expressed the desire to talk about the things he needed to stay in the relationship with you. Lets reverse roles for a minute. Such people dont deserve your care and neither should you crave theirs. He could be so selfish and inconsiderate to the point that he did hurt me with his actions, but I always put it down to his own trauma. Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? - Quora A relationship may be affected in many ways if one of the partners has some mental disorder. This is hard to hear, but you need to be aware of that possibility, Amy. I am still grieving right now and will share my story. Weve been dating for 2 years and a few days ago he broke it off saying he needs to get mentally right and cant sustain a relationship. I wish I can give you a hug because we all need it. We love each other & I was honestly shocked when he blindsided me with a breakup. This doesnt mean that hes depressed and that the only way for him to be happy is to break up with you. They dont like talking about them because thats how theyve developed themselves. She would text me less, we would spend less time together, she would not reply to me and ignore me, more and more as days passed. Despite this understanding I still could not help feeling he was being selfish for not talking things through first. Heartbroken: Boyfriend with Depression Broke up with Me If he thinks he needs some space and time to be left alone, offer that to him. He is my best friend, my love, my everything. Depressed boyfriend broke up with me - HealingWell Staying One Step Ahead of UC. He told me he was getting better when I asked him if his new meds were workingwhy doesn't he think we can work as a team and get through this, if I have made it clear that I'm more than willing? Because they have problems, they often look for negatives in others and by doing so, ruin their own relationships. What is important, when being in a relationship with someone that is struggling with mental illness is to be aware if they are looking for treatment, or are sticking to the one they are in. Boyfriend Broke Up with Me Because He is Depressed Its not uncommon to get blindsided by a depressed boyfriend. This whole time I thought we were endgame so I am devastated and was so blind sighted. I wish that he felt the way I did (that we can weather any storm together) but this blog will help me to keep looking forward and to let him go. If you feel your husbands depression is no more tolerable and divorce is the only option available, do not leave them untreated in the mid-way. During the month of September I noticed there had been something off with him, he wasn't putting in effort to talk to me, see me etc. His unhappiness had been accumulating for days, weeks, or perhaps even longer. It's run by a man, John Folk-Williams, who has lived through this himself. You should know: The answer above provides general health information that is not intended to replace medical advice or treatment recommendations from a qualified healthcare professional. I was in a loving, committed, stable, relationship for 1.5 years with my boyfriend before this recent event. I know he really cares about me. There are a lot of stories here about the break up because of the depression (thank you so much to everyone for sharing) but does anyone have a bit more perspective on how these situations actually evolve? Before you even think about being in a relationship with your ex or anyone else for that matter, you should heal your trauma. Tharu. If hes the kind of guy who blames himself, he could also feel extremely guilty. But you will have a hard time if you want to do it. I know you want to help your boyfriend and get back together with him, but as long as hes depressed, hes set on leaving. Its been 3 days since we last talked and we have talked everyday for 4 years. I dont want to lose him forever, I love him so much and I just wish I could help him :((((( please help if you can. Its brought me a lot of strength and hope as Im going through the same thing recently. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. This will make you feel connected and loved, as it will also give you a space to talk about your feelings and be supported. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks agohe suffers from depression and anxiety. As depression encompasses lack of hope and anhedonia, you should try to provide him hope, faith and commitment along with warmth and love. It has been commonly understood that positive symptoms of schizophrenia decline in later life, https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#Helping a depressed spouse. He denies hes depressed but I guess a lot of men do. Hi Jeianne, Ive been going through this as well. He couldn't explain much to meit was like, he didn't even know why he was feeling like this. Whatever your ex blamed the breakup on, he doesnt want you around. Even if you cannot stay with your partner, please help them get proper treatment and medication. Because I still so badly want to be concidered his girlfriend etc. About 3 weeks ago, my now ex boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because of his depression. She had to rent another place close to her college. 2) Is there any chance hell be back? And guilt wont help him feel closer to you. Observe his actions. Meaning, if you got depressed maybe your reaction would have been to reach out to him more, for comfort while his reaction is to withdraw. Don't take it personally when he pushes you away or avoids your calls/texts 3. She doesnt feel herself. Eventually, as the intensity of repressed emotions increases, a depressed person starts pushing people awayeven those close to him. I just dont understand why he wants a breakup not just a break and space. It doesnt feel like it was time. I spoke about this to his psychiatrist as well as his parents. People may also start to avoid spending time with their partners. That was why he broke up with you in the first place. There is a lot on Quora about why does my DP push me away? too. She said she needs time and space to work on herself and she hopes that in time when she feels better, that well try and get back together, when shell have a clear fresh mind. We have not spoken in two weeks. Its not just people with depression who distance themselves from others. If your ex-boyfriend has a history of depression or his family members have suffered from depression before, you must consider his depression a serious matter. You can't wait around forever, but what you can do is try to live your life well and if things turn around, great - if not, you've still got your life. Its just happening to me hes been depressed badly and been blocking and unblocking me pushing me away hes told me hes drinking to much and needs to love himself but he loves me he has now again blocked me. Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? And although that is the case, the most commons symptoms of depression are: Depression can have a big impact on a persons relationship. I am quite confused and im unsure what to do, how to feel, how to react, so writing it down ease my mind. She was getting more and more in depression ever since she moved, and i really tried my best to be there for her, to show her that i care and love her, and that shes not alone and that ill always be there for her, as usual and as i always did since we met. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? The first thing is people become dishonest. He needs to know hes not that person anymore and that you know your worth. Fight the illness together. You have a lot to think about but there are resources and I wish you all the best as you try to figure this out. Let him take some time, give him some space. Whatever he does or doesnt do, dont take it personally and try to avoid finding out what hes doing. If there is no-one you feel you can talk to, write it down. Although it wont help you get him back, it will give you some clarity and perhaps even closure. It made him think that he didnt have enough time, energy, willpower, and love to stay in a relationship with you and that he needed to find happiness without you. Its something dumpers do to avoid dealing with a highly emotional situation. Depression often causes breakups, especially if it goes untreated. Lately he's been starting to feel depressed again and a couple of weeks ago he broke up with me saying he needs some time to work on himself. I think it might give you some good insight into what's going on with your boyfriend. Try to have a routine that will take care of both your emotional and mental health needs. Because our relationship is great. I responded to you on the other article you commented. When he broke up with me, he told me he couldn't be in a relationship right now and that he needed to be alone to figure his head out. He told me that he love me and we made plans about the future , we were . However, if your boyfriend broke up with you because hes been depressed and stressed only recently, then chances are he isnt really depressed. You didnt agree to this. On Sunday he was still texting me hearts So now Im sad and confused. It helps him focus on his issues and lets him not worry about yours. You might think about seeing a therapist yourself to work through this. But leaving a person when he or she is going through something as difficult as depression is a mystery beyond my comprehension. Genetic inheritance may be a cause behind your partners depression which he has not got any control over.